February

Once again we went to Salt Lake, Billy had his normal CT Scan and then we went to see the surgeon again. We were nervous because this appointment could be the difference of having a permanent shunt put in or not.

Again, no change in the CT Scan or ventricles, but we were somewhat shocked at the difference in future treatment the doctor suggested. In January he told us if the hydrocephalus never went away even though it is mild, Billy would most likely never recover 100%. He said Billy would probably get to 90%-95%, but with the extra pressure he would never be able to get over that hump. The doctor said the shunt would relieve the pressure and allow him to be back to normal. But after discussing Billy's current Hydrocephalus symptoms, which are fairly mild, he decided he wanted to wait on the shunt. The surgeon didn't feel like the benefits of the shunt out weighed the possible complications of a shunt at this time. He told us to go live our lives and if Billy's symptoms got worse to come back in. I actually hated this advice more than "wait 4 weeks and come back for another CT". Don't get me wrong I don't want Billy to have another surgery and have a permanent shunt if he can avoid it, but I also don't want him to live the rest of his life at 90%. Billy's 38 years old and has a very long life to live. Honestly the doctor telling us to just go and live life like we did before the aneurysm scares me. I'm not usually a worrier, but this advice leads me feeling unsettled. I'm just not 100% sure this is really all over. Billy obviously still has some recovery, but overall he's doing great for amount of time that has past. My gut tells me to be very watchful and stay on top of Billy's symptoms, but I honestly don't know if that is me just being scared or pro-active.

I know there is no way to know for sure what the future holds, therefore Billy may still need another surgery for the shunt, but I have been trying very hard to live life as normal as I can.

In the last 9 months our family has experienced many trials. In May I had back surgery and had a NO bending, pulling, lifting and twisting restriction for 3 months. Logan had an out patient procedure for some digestive issues, then Billy had brain surgery (14 days in the hospital and continued CT scans in 2012). We also just found out Landon our 5 yr. old is probably going to need surgery to get his tonsils removed. Just when I thought I had learned so much from these experiences, I realize I still have so much yet to learn (more patience and stronger faith). I pray for the strength to be able to continue forward and be a good wife and mother. I pray that I will be able to be there for others in their future trials as they have been there for my family and I. I will "Pay It Forward" when given the chance.

I hope this will be one of my last post because that will mean Billy will never need the shunt, but if that is what it takes to make him 100% I will welcome another trial.

Thank you again to everyone who has prayed for us, helped us give our children a wonderful Christmas, picking up the slack at our jobs and church callings, helping with our children and their activities, etc. I could go on and on, but I don't think my words will every be able to fully express my gratitude and amazement at how giving and caring people are! Your kindness will never be forgotten.

January 2012

We were very eager to go to the doctor at the beginning of January to see if the medicine was working to reduce the fluid on Billy's brain. He had another CT Scan and then we went to the surgeon's office after. Again it wasn't bad news or great news. The CT scan showed no change at all in the size of his ventricles, which is in relation of the amount of spinal fluid he has on the brain. Therefore, he still had hydrocephalus, but it had not gotten worse which is was good. The doctor took him off the medicine and told us to come back in 4 weeks. Those were the words deep down I knew he would say, but oh how I didn't want to hear that. I don't mean to sound ungrateful because we are so blessed to have Billy doing as well as he is only being 2 1/2 months post surgery, but watching and waiting is so hard emotionally. There's no closure, no black and white answers. I learned back in the hospital there were no black and white answers when it comes to Neuro, but as I've said before it's still hard to accept the words, "We just have to wait and see."

The doctor did tell us that even if his symptoms don't get worse, but the excess fluid remains, he still may need a shunt. He said the shunt would help him get back to 100% and without it he may only get to 90%-95%. Bill doesn't want to live the rest of his life at 90% so he has somewhat accepted the idea of a shunt, but like I said before, we will just have to wait and see.

The doctor did release Billy to go back to work part time and to slowly work his way to full time. The doctor suggested about a month of part time, but that we would have to be the judge on Billy's progress and tolerance. Going back to work was harder than Billy thought it would be. He is a salesman and has an office. He is mostly on the phone and computer all day, so he thought a half day would be easy. Sitting for a half day wasn't so bad, but the constant stimuli of the computer, phones and trying to process multiple things at once was very difficult at first. Everyone he works with was great and really tried to help him as much as they could. They were very supportive of him leaving half day and going home to rest, which took a lot of stress off of him. As January continued Billy got stronger physically and mentally. He continued to have pressure in his head, but it was manageable and slowly lessened.

December Progress

Well so much has happen since I last updated the blog. During December, Billy continued to rest and sleep a lot, but gradually would stay up for longer periods of time. He slowly gained more endurance and strength and was able to handle more stimuli than before. He began to do some walking like the doctor wanted, but it was harder than he thought it was going to be. He is very strong and determined so he worked hard and by Christmas Day he was able to go to church for the first time since this all happend and sit on the stand. It was a wonderful day.

Thanks to all of our wonderful friends and family we had a wonderful Christmas. Thank you to all of you who dropped off goodies, cards, presents and food at our door and most of all for your prayers. This Christmas was extra special because we felt so blessed to have Billy here with us and that he was making so much progress. I believe that Billy's life was spared because he still has many things left here on earth to do and I'm so thankful our family has been given that gift.

In some ways this whole experience has been a blessing. Once you are faced with such a major life changing event, you view life differently and want to really live each day like it was your last. Life is so precious and can change so quickly. Remember to tell those important to you how much you love them EVERYDAY!!