Friday, October 28, 2011
Today was another up and down day. It started out pretty good. Billy was answering all the questions correctly, physically responding to all their request and making sense most of the time. As I have said before they tell me there will be good days and bad days, but lately it's been more like good half of the day and bad half of the day. So Billy is still in pain, but was trying to eat and he got up and walked. He is very frustrated with all the tubes and mostly the catheter, which I personally know is very uncomfortable. He is having a hard time getting comfortable as well. His body is sore from all the laying and all the pokes and stcks he comtinues to get daily. Later Friday night 2 of Billy's sisters and their husbands came up to see him and he was on a roll. He was making everyone laugh. The real Billy would come out, but we would lose him here and there in the middle of what you think is a normal conversation. I can't help but laugh at him because he says some goofy things, but has no recollection of it. That night he was stuck on using Chinese Food as references to all kinds of things. Some of it made sense and worked with a joke he was trying to tell, but others were just out there, so I've learned you never know what your going to get from one hour to the next. This is all normal from what I've been told and he will continue to have short term memory issues for a while, but that he should eventually regain all of his memory.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Today didn't start out well at all. Around 5:00am Billy was kind of restless and hurting pretty bad. I was trying to help him get comfortable but no matter what I did he was moaning. As I was talking to him he became confused and his head was really hot (like a low grade fever). The nurse came in and I told him that I thought he was acting different and more confused. The nurse told me that was normal and that sometimes patients have dementia spells because they get woke up so often for so long and they get confused. I could see I wasn't getting anywhere with this particular nurse so I just help Billy get back to sleep, but I knew in my gut that something was changing. I know Billy better than anyone and by this time I've been here a week and feel like I know what to look for now. Shift change was at 7am so around 7:30 the new nurse came in and did the same neuro test they do many times a day. Billy answered all the questions right and physically did everything they asked him to so on the surface everything seemed great. I told the nurse my concerns again and he thought it was all normal, but then Billy started to ask me why they wanted him to play football. I told him no one was trying to make him play football, but he was convinced he had a helment on and they were bugging him to come play. BIlly then said, "I think they are confused and think I'm Logan." (I had to laugh about this so I don't cry) I would exlain that he was in the hospital and he didn't have to play football. He would stop and think and then he realized he where he was. Thankfully the nurse witnessed all this and said, "ok I see what you mean' so I'll talk with the doctors." Shortly after this episode he was talking normally again and ate breakfast like none of it ever happened. Then he got really tired and dosed off to sleep.
Ever since the day of the surgery I have held it together really good. I feel somewhat numb and scared to get too excited about his good days because I don't want to be disappointed. I feel like i"m in surveil mode because I not only want and need to be here with Billy, but I still have my kids to worry about (even though my mother is here which is wonderful, but as any of you parents know, you always worry about your kids), bills still have to be paid, etc. , etc. So I have felt like I have to be strong for everyone and life must go on in a lot of ways. Well this morning I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started to feel overwhelmed and closterphobic and like I had to get out of the hospital. While Billy was a sleep I went and walk around the outside of the hospital and cried to my mom. I felt frustrated , sad, scared and thankful all at the same time. After a good hour of talking and crying I felt better. I felt like I could go back in there and face the day. There were still challenges, but I kept pressing on.
Later that evening they pulled the lumbar drain out of Billy's back because they had shut it off 36 hours prior to see how he would do. overall he had done good, but they did suspect that he had some pressure building up because of his confusion, but the pressures weren't high enough to warrant the drain anymore. Billy was glad to get it out because it's one less tube. He also had to have his ART line redone as well. (The ART Line is an artierial line that is similar to an IV. It is in an artery so it takes his blood pressure and it gives them access to draw blood without sticking him so much.) He has a lot of problems with his ART line so they have had to try to fix it with wires and start a new one on the other hand. Overall he's making good progress, but it's very up and down.