February

Once again we went to Salt Lake, Billy had his normal CT Scan and then we went to see the surgeon again. We were nervous because this appointment could be the difference of having a permanent shunt put in or not.

Again, no change in the CT Scan or ventricles, but we were somewhat shocked at the difference in future treatment the doctor suggested. In January he told us if the hydrocephalus never went away even though it is mild, Billy would most likely never recover 100%. He said Billy would probably get to 90%-95%, but with the extra pressure he would never be able to get over that hump. The doctor said the shunt would relieve the pressure and allow him to be back to normal. But after discussing Billy's current Hydrocephalus symptoms, which are fairly mild, he decided he wanted to wait on the shunt. The surgeon didn't feel like the benefits of the shunt out weighed the possible complications of a shunt at this time. He told us to go live our lives and if Billy's symptoms got worse to come back in. I actually hated this advice more than "wait 4 weeks and come back for another CT". Don't get me wrong I don't want Billy to have another surgery and have a permanent shunt if he can avoid it, but I also don't want him to live the rest of his life at 90%. Billy's 38 years old and has a very long life to live. Honestly the doctor telling us to just go and live life like we did before the aneurysm scares me. I'm not usually a worrier, but this advice leads me feeling unsettled. I'm just not 100% sure this is really all over. Billy obviously still has some recovery, but overall he's doing great for amount of time that has past. My gut tells me to be very watchful and stay on top of Billy's symptoms, but I honestly don't know if that is me just being scared or pro-active.

I know there is no way to know for sure what the future holds, therefore Billy may still need another surgery for the shunt, but I have been trying very hard to live life as normal as I can.

In the last 9 months our family has experienced many trials. In May I had back surgery and had a NO bending, pulling, lifting and twisting restriction for 3 months. Logan had an out patient procedure for some digestive issues, then Billy had brain surgery (14 days in the hospital and continued CT scans in 2012). We also just found out Landon our 5 yr. old is probably going to need surgery to get his tonsils removed. Just when I thought I had learned so much from these experiences, I realize I still have so much yet to learn (more patience and stronger faith). I pray for the strength to be able to continue forward and be a good wife and mother. I pray that I will be able to be there for others in their future trials as they have been there for my family and I. I will "Pay It Forward" when given the chance.

I hope this will be one of my last post because that will mean Billy will never need the shunt, but if that is what it takes to make him 100% I will welcome another trial.

Thank you again to everyone who has prayed for us, helped us give our children a wonderful Christmas, picking up the slack at our jobs and church callings, helping with our children and their activities, etc. I could go on and on, but I don't think my words will every be able to fully express my gratitude and amazement at how giving and caring people are! Your kindness will never be forgotten.