As I got up this morning and began to get ready, we still had not heard about whether we would be going home or not. Finally around noon the doctor came in and said Billy was doing good so they would be discharging him in the next couple of hours. I wasn't completely surprised, but kind of disappointed because as much as I want to come home, I thought it would be good for him to be monitored for a couple of more days. Obviously I'm not a doctor and they felt like he was ready. They told us he would continue to have headaches for days and possibly weeks to come and there is no way to know when they will stop. I knew this, but my question was at what point do I call or bring him back in, if the need arises. Again there is no straight answer for this question either. They told me to monitor his symptoms and cognitive behavior, but to go with my intuition. I hate this answer even though I expected an answer like this.
I began packing up stuff and making trips to the car because over 14 days we accumulated a lot of stuff. When it was finally time to leave they brought in a wheel chair and helped us get on our way. Billy had not been outside for 2 weeks so it was refreshing and weird for him at the same time. He was really making sense, but then he looks at me and says, "Do you want me to drive?". Oh coarse I said no and reminded him not only was he on pain killers, but said remember you just had brain surgery 2 weeks ago. Billy then says "I don't think it's hit me that I really had brain surgery." I had told him this before but he has been so in and out of it since this whole thing started that I truly don't think he really understands everything that has happened yet. I'm not sure if he will ever completely understand. He was the one going through all the pain and confusion, etc which I wish he never had to endure this at all. However, I've been watching him go through all of this and not really being able to help him or prepare for the next emotionally roller coaster ride. He keeps telling me he's fine and everything will be fine and deep down I believe he will be recover completely, but I know we have a very long road ahead of us before that happens. He knows he's weak and realizes sometimes that he gets confused, but he really doesn't understand that it's going to take longer than 2 weeks to be back to normal. I know I'm rambling and I hope I have been making sense.
When we finally got home he was feeling pretty bad so he went straight to bed. After about 3 hours he came down stairs and was talking and ate dinner. He visited for about an hour and then it was time to go back to bed. He gets tired very easy.
So heads up to all of you. As I've said before some of you will get the opportunity to talk with Billy in the weeks to come and you will probably leave that conversation thinking he's back to normal and doing so great. He is doing great and he will be getting stronger everyday, but I warn you he might not remember the conversation or all of the details either. I can't say for sure when this will happen and for how long this will last, but I do know it will happen.
So now that we are home we are beginning a new journey to recovery. I know at some point he will be the BIlly we all love and I pray it will be faster than I expect.
Thanks again for all your prayers and support we would not have been able to make it this far without all of our family and friends!!!
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